Beyond Heaven, Beyond Hell
by Kurisu
Summary: L/Light. "I was one hundred percent sure it was you. This is what brings me to this desolate place, and this is why I have appeared in front of you."


_Come on...  
__My star is fading__  
And I swerve out of control  
If I...if I'd only waited  
I'd not be stuck here in this hole_

I heard your screams, your laments. I felt them beyond heaven, beyond hell. I knew that once you cried out, it would be over. Kira would be no more. And upon hearing this, I was one hundred percent sure it was you. This is what brings me to this desolate place, and this is why I have appeared in front of you.

You see me, don't you? The image pierces your own soul, now tainted and black. My spectral form haunts you now, as expected. Do you now see what you are? I doubt it. What you fail to see is who you really were beyond the torture. Yes, that notebook tortured you. It twisted that brilliant mind of yours into something malicious, and you know that well enough now. And what I see now is the aftermath and loss.

It could have happened to anyone, Raito-kun. You were nothing special. You were a random person who happened upon the notebook. There was nothing that could have prevented it. Nothing could have stopped it except your own death. But it is over now. It has already wreaked its havoc upon you.

_Come here...oh, my star is fading  
__And I swerve out of control  
And I swear, I waited and waited  
I've got to get out of this hole_

What if it was I, you ask? That would be impossible. I would have never dug the same hole as you. I would not have deluded myself. No one can rule the way you supposedly thought you could have, as ambitious as the thought was. But it is quite admirable. To think you had a goal in mind and would do nothing to achieve it! It is a beautiful thought, really. Were you going to be a god? Neither one of us knows the answer to that. I was only sure of two things when I died. One of those conclusions has brought me before you.

So you know one, but not the other? And why am I here? I bet you can guess. If it were your punishment, we would all be here. All the people you murdered—officers, agents, and criminals alike—would stand here with me. If it were forgiveness, we would have been here just the same. So why am I the only one, Raito-kun? Give me an answer to this. No, you have not guessed it yet. The mind that clearly rivaled mine, the great Kira cannot figure this out.

To tell you the truth, Raito-kun, I have come here because I have appealed on your behalf. They were more than willing to let me do so, given that your final resting place would be one of two locations. It surprised me to find out how easy it was. The shinigami did tell you, didn't he? That you could go to neither heaven nor hell? I have found that hell is quite reasonable in contrast. It was as I expected, sans the fiery pits and acts of torture. It is all stagnant, dark, and mindless. No, I was not allowed to enter Heaven, Raito-kun.

Why was I sent to hell? It doesn't surprise me in the least. You knew nothing of me, Raito-kun. I had a background story as well. But we will leave that for another time. You will die soon and I have an eternity to tell you everything. Now, I digress. They have decided to let you enter hell with me. How? As soon as you figure out my reason for being here, for appealing in the first place, the answer will become clear to you. I am one hundred percent sure.

_Come on, oh my star is fading  
And I see no chance of release  
And I know I'm dead on the surface  
But I am screaming underneath_

They will hold no funeral for you. There is nothing that you have done that warrants praise, beyond certificates and perfect test scores. Your family is as dead as you will become. The only funeral will be for Kira, and you are no longer that vile creature. At this very moment you are Raito-kun, the only friend I have managed to make in those short years that I lived. You are the intellect that rivals my own. You are the incandescent body, mind and heart that could have been left intact if not for a shinigami rotting in his ennui.

I hated to admit it to myself, for I can be just as stubborn. But I missed you, Raito-kun. It was the only thing that I hated about the living world. We were enemies on the surface, and that was what I portrayed. I hated being your enemy, and I hated suspecting you. You did not expect this emotion from me? Did you expect me to be emotionless? It makes sense, considering I rarely expressed what I felt in life. I was eccentric. I was usually left alone. I was pale, thin, and utterly hideous. In twenty-five years I had done nothing except my work.

You don't think so? Whatever did you see that no one else did? They only saw Ryuuzaki, only L and no one else. I expected it to be that way; rather, I made it that way. What makes you think you saw past that? Yes, that time we were handcuffed together. I haven't forgotten it. I don't believe I have ever cried in front of you, Raito-kun, but it wouldn't be an impossibility. I have been known to show emotion when no attention is paid to me. I prefer it that way. If you saw anything, I apologize. It was not meant for your eyes. After all, I am a vile creature myself.

Again, you don't think so. I expected that answer. However, we will have time to discuss all this in the coming hours. You should have a few more seconds of life. I see the shinigami writing your name. It will be over soon, and you will come with me instead of going to nothing. We will head for the gates of hell, Raito-kun. You still have not guessed why I'm here to receive you. Please, think it over with all you have left. You know it. You have always known it.

_You can say what you mean  
But it won't change a thing  
I'm sick of the secrets__  
Stood on the edge, tied to the noose_

Yes, you're almost there. Almost, with several seconds to spare. You feel it, don't you? You feel that I am not emotionless. You know that I have felt something for you that was foreign to me, even as you were my suspect...even as Kira looked upon me during my final seconds of life. And you know that I have waited for your death to tell you. But I will explain much later. Now that the worst is over, I will lead you down. Please don't be afraid, Raito-kun. It will never be as heartless as the world we have left. They will applaud you; I'm one hundred percent sure. I always am these days.

Close your eyes. This body is no more, Raito-kun.

_But you came along and you cut me loose_

* * *

A/N: My first Death Note fic! Considering the very distinct personalities of the characters, I have made this my "practice" fic in the POV of L as Light is dying (because I can really see them communicating at the end of the episode). So, please review and tell me what's good, what needs to be improved, etc. I'll greatly appreciate it!

I usually do notes at the beginning, but I felt it would impact the story significantly. So, here's the disclaimer. I do not own Death Note, nor do I own the song "Amsterdam" by Coldplay. It's a beautiful song, though!


End file.
